Letters
by sophiesophiesophiee
Summary: Elsie Hughes has left Downton Abbey. She has changed dramatically: can Charles help her return to the old Elsie?
1. Chapter 1

**Another offering from me. Sorry about that. I have very little to say, other than reviews are love and they really do mean a lot. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Nothing. No one. Sigh.**

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Dear Charles,

I miss you. I miss Downton. I miss my old life. Moving away has not been the new start I believed it would be. I wish I had stayed, let events run their course, stayed on as housekeeper…but that is in the past. It does not do to dwell on the past, as you once said.

It gets awfully lonely here sometimes. The highlands are not as I remember them. Of course, the last time I was here, I had my family and my friends. I knew the village, the local businesses, the old people that lived on the corner…none of that is here any more. There are young, married couples everywhere. I'm the outcast, the old spinster on the corner. I live for my job. I have nothing else.

How are things at Downton? Have you had any more thoughts on retiring? Perhaps one day you could come and visit? I'd love to show you where I grew up, how I spent my days as a child. Perhaps you could help to fight off this loneliness that refuses to leave me alone, if just for a little while.

I hope you're taking care of yourself, Charles. I know you don't know when to stop. I still live in hope that one day you'll learn your limits, learn to take care of yourself. The thing I miss most about Downton is you. Looking out for you, working with you, talking to you…life has altered me, Charles, and not for the better. I'm not the woman you used to know. I'm older, sadder…perhaps writing to you was not such a good idea. I know you'll only worry about me when you read this…

How is my replacement shaping up? I hope she's keeping up my standards? Perhaps I'll find the time to come down and see for myself. Then again, perhaps not. Too many painful memories.

There is something I wish to discuss with you. You know what it is, I believe. It has much to do with goings-on at the time that I left Downton. There is a conversation that needs to be had between us, Charles, and I think that the longer we leave it, the more difficult it will become. Please don't pretend it's nothing, don't ignore it…there's a problem, Charles, and it must be addressed, before I lose my dearest friend, forever.

I meant what I said when I left. I shan't deny it. I never could. I've spent far too long trying to hide how I feel, pretend it wasn't there so I could get on with my life, my job…but now I don't have to hide anything. I can be as honest and open as you'll allow me to be. And, should you decide that perhaps your feelings are of a similar nature, I wouldn't hesitate in moving back to Ripon. I'd find a tearoom and work during the day, then at night…I'd be yours.

I must go, work beckons. Stay safe, Charles. Look after yourself and I hope to hear from you soon. Even if it's just a note to tell me that you're well. Write to me, please?

Yours,

Elsie.

**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to those of you who took the time to read and review the first chapter of this. Reviews mean the world to me ;) Another chapter, for which I apologise. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Very sad. **

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Dear Elsie,

I cannot express to you how glad I was to hear from you at long last. It has been too long since we last saw each other. You sound so awfully down, Elsie. I wish I could do something, be there for you, look out for you and just hold you. You don't sound like the Elsie I remember, the woman I consider a close friend. You sound cold, distant, alone…

Your presence here is certainly missed. Your replacement, Mrs Winters, tries her best, but her standards will never come close to yours. For now, I daren't leave her unattended for any length of time, but I'm sure that in a month or so, I'll be able to take a few days away and come to visit you, if you find that solution bearable? Perhaps though, if you need me sooner, you could come here?

I must admit to you, I have an ulterior motive in asking you to come back to Downton. I'm in the process of looking at cottages in the village for when I retire. I fear it will not be long before I leave the house. The first footman is very good at his job, and very ambitious. He seems an obvious choice as my successor, and I have begun training him in order to take over from me when I decide it is time to leave. Perhaps you would consider retiring with me? We could do as you suggested, find a tearoom or a bookshop and set up home together.

I'd very much like to discuss this with you face to face. I regret one thing about our last meeting. I should have said something more when you told me how you felt. I should have told you that I felt the same, because I do. I have done since the day you walked into the library with the housekeeper and began sorting the flowers. I did not want to tell you this in a letter, Elsie. I wanted to say it to your face, to hold your hand as I spoke, to wrap my arms around you once I'd finished…I guess that's just something a fool would dream of. I make no effort to deny that. I am a fool, Elsie. But I am_ your_ fool.

You were right about one thing. I'm terribly worried about you, Elsie. I wish I could help in any way at all. It physically hurts me to hear how sad you are. I wish I could look after you, as you've looked after me so often in the past.

Tell me about your job? Where is it you're working? Your position? Are you still a housekeeper, or have you changed profession? Are you working for a business or a family? I apologise for the large amount of questions, I am merely keen to know what it is you get up to and how you're spending your time in Scotland. What do you do in your spare time? Do you get any free time away from work?

I miss you, Elsie. I miss you terribly, and when I think back to the day you left, a sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. You took a piece of me with you when you walked down that driveway. A very large piece of me indeed. I know it may sound selfish, but I would very much like to feel whole again, so if you could return, I would be grateful. You are the only thing that can fill this void.

Please stay strong, Elsie. It will not be long before we are reunited. I will be looking into getting time off this afternoon.

I must go, I fear Mrs Patmore may be about to murder poor Daisy. Be strong, Elsie. For me.

Yours, always,

Charles.

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is another chapter from me. Thank you so much for the reviews! They really do mean a lot to me. Keep 'em coming! It's nice to hear what you all think of this. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything, and this is really rather sad. If anyone wants to buy them for me, drop me a line ;) **

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Dear Charles,

Is there any news on your being able to visit yet? I am afraid that I must see you, as a matter of urgency. I am struggling to remain afloat with the way that things are at the moment. My entire body hurts, and I cannot seem to stop myself from crying. I wish, above anything, that I could hear your voice just one more time, telling me that everything will be fine, calming me down…

I wish I had never left Downton, knowing that you feel the way that you do. I have lost count of the number of times that I have read your letter. I keep it by my bed and pull it out at night, when I am alone and I can think. I think back to the times when we would talk in the evenings, we would laugh, and in the summer, we would walk through the grounds, smelling the flowers and just enjoying the air. I miss that now. I have nothing. No company, but the sound of the wireless and comfort of my well-thumbed novels. Neither of those can provide the support that you provided me with.

I am working in a tea room in the centre of town. It's a family-run business and the gentleman that owns it is a kind old man, who looks out for me as best he can, but he's not a patch on you. The old couple have young grandchildren, and they often ask me to tell them stories about Downton, about the house. It's like a story to them, my life before I left. It's starting to seem like that to me, too. Do you really exist, Charles, or are you just somebody that I have dreamed of? Have I been sleeping for the last twenty years? Did I ever leave Scotland in the first place?

Tell me about things that are happening at the house, Charles? Fill my mind with thoughts of better times? Make me laugh about all of the silly little things that have happened since I've been gone? How is Daisy shaping up in the kitchen?

I would be very happy – and honoured – to accompany you in visiting cottages, and, might I add, over the moon that you would even consider retiring with me. My answer is a wholehearted yes, of course. Just say the word and I shall be on the next train.

The piece of you that you mentioned that I took…I am afraid that I am rather unwilling to return it, should it be the piece I hope it is. Perhaps this is something that we can negotiate on when we are reunited? I believe I have something that I could offer you in replacement.

I am unable to tell you just how much it pains me to have to write to you, to sound so formal, when all I wish for is to hear your voice and to feel your arms wrapped around me. I hope that a time comes when I can make those imaginings come true. For now though, I shall have to hold onto my dreams of you, and pray that one day they shall be a reality.

I apologise that this must be so brief, but there is a lot that I would rather say to your face than have you find out through a worthless letter written in my unfathomable script. Perhaps one day soon…I seem to be writing that to you so often. I have such high hopes for when I at last see you; please don't make me wait for too long. All this waiting and not knowing is becoming torturous and agonising. I miss you, terribly.

Yours,

Elsie.

_**TBC...**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Another chapter. This was a struggle to write. The next one won't be a letter...they'll actually meet. Hopefully. That's the plan, anyway. Thank you to those of you who took the time to review. Your feedback really is appreciated, and it really does help me to write. Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: not mine. Everything belongs to Fellowes, the lucky, lucky man. **

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Dear Elsie,

I will be coming to visit you next weekend. My train will arrive at 8pm on Friday night, I hope this is a suitable time for you. I cannot stay away any longer, my heart is breaking hearing you so pained. Perhaps I shall be able to set a few things straight during my visit.

Those memories are very precious to me too, Elsie. They're all I think about a great deal of the time. We can make new memories when I visit and when you come back to Downton. We'll spend time together, just us, getting to know Charles and Elsie, not Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. We can be ourselves, and we can look after each other, far more openly than we could at the house. I can hold you and make you laugh without worrying about being overheard.

I assure you, Elsie, that I am very much real. And I will prove that to you in any way possible. If you have been sleeping for the last twenty years…our dreams have been the same. Perhaps though, there are some dreams that I could help to make a reality? You tell me…

Do you enjoy working in the tea room? Would you be happy if we decided to open one of our own? Perhaps that is something we can discuss when I see you? If I could make everything better, I would. Please tell me if there is anything I can do to help you? Is there anything I can bring to you? Just say the word, and I'll sort it. I promise.

Things at the house are really rather subdued, mostly I feel, due to your departure. Daisy has become a wonderful young cook, and I'd go as far as to say that she will make a fine replacement for Mrs Patmore when the time finally comes for her to retire. O'Brien has mellowed, I think she misses you, in her own way. We all do, Elsie. Things are not the same without you. I know that if you did decide to return you would be treated like a heroine. Consider it, please? I know we have a new housekeeper, but I am certain that there would be something His Lordship could do. He misses you too, you know. He has told me this on numerous occasions. He asked me to give you his regards when I told him I was coming to visit you. He has the utmost respect for you, and there will always be room for you at Downton should you ever choose to return.

I miss you terribly too, Elsie. I cannot put into words my feelings for you at this moment in time. I want to hold you and take all of your pain away. I do plan to steal you away when I come to visit. Have your bags packed, Elsie. I'm bringing you back to Downton with me. I'm bringing you home, back to where you belong. By my side, until the day I die.

Be strong, Elsie. It won't be long now before we are finally reunited. I won't let you go this time, that is a promise. See you soon.

Yours, always,

Charles.

_**TBC...**_


	5. Chapter 5

**An 'action' chapter for you. The 'letter' format is gone, for now. Thank you for the reviews so far, each and every one of them has really helped! I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment to you all..**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. It all belongs to Julian Fellowes.**

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Charles stepped off of the train and onto the platform, scanning the crowd for his old friend. He sighed, unable to spot her, and began to walk towards the exit of the station, barely noticing the pale, hunched, slip of a woman standing just by the door, her complexion almost ghost-like. He felt cold fingers touch his hand and turned, his heart breaking at the sight of her. Her eyes were dark and she couldn't meet his gaze.

"Elsie…" He murmured, twisting his hand to take her slender fingers between his own. She looked at their entwined fingers and tears sprang to her eyes, causing Charles to draw her to close to him. "I've got you." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her close for a moment, a little surprised that she did not pull away or stiffen at his touch. Instead, she seemed to melt into him, clearly drained.

The two of them stood on the platform for what seemed like an eternity, and were forced to leave when another train arrived and a swarm of passengers headed towards the exit. They headed back to Elsie's cottage in silence, the only thing exchanged between them being gentle strokes of their hands.

Elsie led Charles into her home by the hand and closed the door behind him. It was dark and despite Elsie's obvious efforts to make it seem welcoming, it seemed cold and uninviting. He sat down beside her on the settee and studied her face for a moment, embedding the image of her face in his mind, each line testament to the turmoil she had been through. He waited for her to speak first, not wanting to push her too hard and force her to shut off completely.

"I missed you." Her voice was hoarse and low, her accent thicker than he remembered. He squeezed her hand gently, trying to encourage her to look at him.

Elsie turned her head slowly and finally, for the first time since he had arrived, met Charles' gaze. There was a haunted look in her eyes, and it was then that Charles realised just how lonely Elsie had been. He opened his arms and enfolded her within them, pressing a kiss to her head and trying desperately to think of something comforting to say.

"Did you mean what you said, Charles? Are you really taking me home with you?" She sounded almost like a child, and it hurt him even more to hear her sounding so lost and so vulnerable. He stroked the top of her arm gently.

"If that is what you wish for me to do, I wouldn't hesitate in doing it." He could feel her nodding against his chest, and he kissed the top of her head again. "Talk to me, Elsie? What made you come back here?"

Elsie moved out of Charles' embrace and bit her lip for a moment, trying to find the words to explain things to him. "Before I left, I had a letter from my sister's husband, telling me that she was unwell and that I needed to visit. So I visited. She needed full-time care and not long after I went to see her, her husband wrote to me again to tell me that he could not look after her any more. I hated the thought of her being on her own, so I looked for a way of having someone there for her at all times. I asked her neighbour to keep me informed of what was going on, and I got a letter from her to say that the nurses were not looking after her like I asked them to, and that she was being left alone for hours at a time. So I decided to leave and look after her myself. Less than a week after I arrived, she passed away. By then, it was too late to go back to Downton, so I had to 'make do', so to speak. I found myself a job and this cottage, and here I am now." She stopped and took a breath, glancing at him briefly. "When I left…I thought it would be the last time I saw you. I couldn't leave without telling you how I felt about you, how I've always felt about you. But Charles…" she paused, unsure of how to continue. "I'm not worth you leaving the job you love-"

Charles cut her off. "Lord Grantham gave me strict instructions to bring you home with me. I mentioned to him that I had heard from you and that I was concerned about you, and he told me that I was to bring you back to Downton. He is dealing with things. You shall have a home, and a job, should you wish. The housekeeper in London is retiring, and His Lordship has arranged for your replacement to go to London instead. She cannot handle the amount of stairs we have in Downton." He offered Elsie a smile. "Do you think you would be happy to come back to your old job? Your old room?"

"I don't want my old room, Charles. I agreed to come back with you under the condition that we would get a cottage, that we would be looking to buy a bookshop. I want to spend my time with you, not lying alone in a grey bedroom, staring at the walls." Her voice was quiet, but determined. "My job here is stress free, if mundane. I'm not saying that running a bookshop would be an easy job, but I would be with you, and we could be us, Elsie and Charles, not Carson and Mrs Hughes. I want to live the rest of my life as Elsie, Charles. My 'Mrs Hughes' exterior is gone."

Charles watched her as she spoke, a faint smile playing upon his lips at the reappearance of the determination he so admired in her. "It's not completely gone, Elsie." He took her hand in his. "You're still as stubborn as ever." He could not be certain, but Charles thought he saw a smile beginning to surface on Elsie's face. "Just come back to Downton for now, Elsie. We can discuss the details once you're home. Please?"

"Maybe. I don't want us to slip back into our old routine, Charles, and I think if I came back to Downton and resumed my post, we would be in great danger of that happening. The things you promised…they wouldn't happen if we did that. I can't go back to my old life."

Charles bit his lip, finally able to understand the position that Elsie was in. He looked at her for a moment, his hand still holding hers tightly, his voice barely above a whisper. "And if I left Downton Abbey? You would come back then?" She nodded. "Then I think we have made our decision, haven't we?"

**_TBC..._**


	6. Chapter 6

**Final chapter. Thanks for the reviews I have received so far. Thank you to the few of you who have stuck with this and continued to offer feedback. I really do appreciate it. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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_Dear Mr Carson,_

_It is with great sorrow that we must inform you of the death of Ms Elsie Hughes. During her final shift before she was due to head back to Downton Abbey, she collapsed and was taken to hospital. It appeared that she had an underlying condition and had been suffering for quite some time. The doctors did everything that they could for her, but unfortunately it was too late, and she passed away in the early hours of last Saturday morning._

_It is our intention to hold a service for her next Sunday, and we would be honoured if you would attend. I know that the two of you were very close, and I know that were it my wife that had passed away, I would want the opportunity to say goodbye to her._

_The official funeral is scheduled for Wednesday, but knowing of your profession and how busy you are, I understand that it would be very difficult for you to attend. However, if your employer allows it, come to Elsie's cottage at 9 o'clock Wednesday morning and someone will meet you there. Of course, if any of Elsie's friends wish to attend, they are more than welcome to._

_I hope to see you sometime soon. I'm sorry to have had to break such sad news to you, particularly in a letter. I wanted to send a telegram, but my husband wanted to spare you the pain of being so far away and not being able to do anything for her. Please forgive the delay._

_Margaret Jones_

Charles felt his heart break as the words sank in, having re-read the letter for a third time. Elsie had failed to arrive at the train station when she was due, and like a fool, he had merely assumed that she had changed her mind and did not want to take him up on his offer after all. He sank into his seat at the head of the table, acutely aware that all eyes were fixed upon his face, now a worrying shade of grey.

"Mr Carson, is everything alright?" Anna spoke first from the seat to his right, her voice quiet and laced with concern. He lowered the letter slowly and handed it to her, unable to find the words to explain what had happened. He heard her gasp softly and felt her hand cover his for a moment before he retrieved the letter and left the room.

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"Goodbye, Elsie…" He murmured, placing a single white rose over the name plate on her coffin. She always had white roses in a vase in her sitting room, and they reminded him of her whenever he saw any in the grounds of Downton. Lord Grantham had instructed him to take whatever he wanted from the flower beds, and so he had chosen white roses.

He watched as his love was lowered into the ground, taking with her his resolve and his butler persona. He would never be that person again. He would never return to Downton again.

That night, consumed with grief, he felt an all too familiar pain in his chest. Instead of fighting it and calling out for help, all he could do was close his eyes and picture Elsie smiling at him and holding out her hand to him. And he took it. His body tensed then relaxed suddenly, and a smile settled on his greying features, content to have been reunited with his love at last.

**Fin.**


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